Emerging from the white coat

This semester is coming to an end. Today is my final day at women’s health clinic. I have to say I entered in to this semester with some trepidation. Evaluating my own health I would give myself a B+ on the good ‘ole score card, but does that give me the right to advise other women on her health?  Headed into a patients exam rooms I hesitantly started each day the same: notebook (check), white coat (check), pen (check), ROS card and screening sheet (double check) and off I went.

My preceptor, being the beautiful soul she is, set aside one hour per patient. This in itself is wonderful fore thought on her part. Even thinking about it now I have to laugh, the first 25 minutes I would ask every single past medical history, family medical history and review of systems question under the sun. Then came an intently focused physical exam, final “assessment” and detailed plan of care. 

For each patient I was concerned about the same aspects: LMP, last pap, partners, safe relationships, type of birth control, satisfaction with birth control, vitamins/ exercise, diet, last pap, etc. I perfected answering my patient’s questions in a manor that made them feel normal. However, none of us are “normal” and who even had the audacity to event such a word should probably consult with their own “specialist”.

Somewhere in the middle of my rotation I lost my precious white coat. It served as my shield and protection against unknown answers to all my patients’ questions. To say they varied across many spectrums would be an understatement and at times I wondered how I had the tenacity and tact to answer them. However, I did believe they were due the respect and courage to ask any question they wanted.

As the white coat became part of my history, so did the need to wear it. When the lab coat went away, so did my imaginary barrier between my patients and I.  I took on a feeling of being more “humanistic”, in deed more myself. I want to be Michelle the FNP student that cares. I want them to feel comfortable calling me for test results or for advice. Their appointment should make them feel relived and informed. I can’t tell them everything about being healthy, nor are there such things as the magical “normal” in the realm of women’s health. However, at least now they know to check their Vitamin D, take a daily mutli-vitamin, exercise at least three days a week for thirty min, and that open conversations about their health are all important aspects of their care.

In the end this rotation has thought me many important lessons; some learned by chance, others on a daily basis. I couldn’t have asked for a better learning environment. I have two hopes: 1. that I can cultivate a caring environment for my patients in the future, 2. that my next preceptors and staff are just as amazing at my next clinical rotation.