Being Present

I have always known that it is important for nurses to be present, or should I say in the present? Life it seems can pass you by and decisions can be made that may not seem to have a huge impact, however like the "butter fly effect" not being present can have unknown consequences and impacts to the health of your society.

As many know, I believe that we are all more than "just a nurse". Our hard work impacts health care and the various jobs that we have chosen to peruse and develop. These accomplishments are just the tip of the ice berg in terms of our success. I love being a nurse and I believe it is that perspective that gives me insight on even the most random of subjects. Take for instance the "employee handbook".

In addition to being a veteran, an ED nurse, a full time graduate student, sister, daughter, girlfriend and friend, I am a board member for a wonderful non-profit that seeks to help children and their families that are experiencing homelessness. Check out: Cuidando Los Niños if you want more information: http://clnkids.org/

I usually work on advocacy and out-reach, and serve as a "connector" (read http://www.gladwell.com/tippingpoint/tp_excerpt2.html ). I give the elevator speech and work to get donations, sponsors and anything else I can for Cuidando, but in addition to being aboard me member I serve on the Executive Committee. Our task from the interim Executive Director was to review the employee handbook.  So in-between triage classes, an advanced EKG workshop and case studies I sat pen in hand and poured over the handbook. 

I have yet to write an employee handbook, however I am skilled in "the joint commission" , "OSHA", "preventive medicine” as well as "infection control" "Evacuation plans and Fire Drills" (thank you OIF and OEF).

As I started to pour over each section I found myself actually having input on several areas: credentialing, performance evaluations, reimbursements, holiday schedules, PTO, leaves of absence, property books, dress codes, attendance and illness. Not too bad, if I do say so myself.

I also took the liberty to change some verbiage from physician to provider. Yes it may seem small in terms of grammatical ways, however it terms of the education I am about to complete (at least at my Master’s Level)and  it is important to me that an employee be able to see a mid-level provider (NP or PA) in addition to a physician.  

I clarified the emergency evacuation program, and to tip the entire butterfly effect off I asked for specific verbiage regarding employee health and vaccinations. Warning to all you who do not believe in vaccines I do (.) If we can prevent out breaks of pertussis and the flu (to name only a few) and save lives as well as prevent costly hospital stays, especially for children and infants (who when sick are not only high risk but incur potentially worse outcomes and health discrepancies) then not only will I take the Flu shot that I don’t like, but I will ensure my immunizations are up to date as well. (Wow that was a long run-on sentence…I will step off the box now…)

The thing is, in retrospect none of these items are huge by any means, however being present at the meeting, having that knowledge and insight is what is important. So to all my friends who are amazing nurses and think they are “just” anything, remember you  ARE Nurses and that is why they should always be present.

Windows

Windows can be the openings to your soul, or even just the space in which to let light reflect upon your heart. As of late I have traveled to various missions and Native American sites around New Mexico and Colorado and my mind has started to ponder. I spent my time enjoying some inner peace and reflecting upon the past. It made me think that all around us in life there are windows of opportunities.

I can remember as a little girl looking out the window of out small trailer and thinking of all the things I wanted to accomplish. The window served to inspire my dreams. I never had small dreams, or unattainable goals. In my dreams I wanted to help others, serve as a mentor and leader and ultimately one day move to a place where I could enjoy the calm breeze from the mountains. My window served as my inspiration, my dream builder, and my launching point for life.

A few weeks ago when I traveled to the Abo missions at the Salinas Pueblo Missions National Monument, I glimpsed at windows that over-looked tumbling hills. I sat and wondered if others used this window to look out and day dream. If I were at a mission as a Native American in 1629, what would I dream of? The sun good, the mother of life, of wild flowers and tumbling rain showers, possibly yes, but probably more.

The invention of windows can be linked to as early as the 13^th century and in various languages the word “window” has been described as the “wind eye”. I think that they were invented to open your inner soul, to allow for daydreams and to shed light on our hearts.

-m

The fear of suffering is worst than suffering itself (The Alchemist) Funny, but we fear many things in life. But, when we take action that fear can inspire us to do more. ♥

Sometimes you just need that solitary day to yourself for some inner reflection. Lately my plate has been so full that I have feared not accomplishing anything. But fear can be a funny thing. It can take hold of us and stop us from moving forward, or it can cause us to push farther and make plans for our next opportunities in life.

Last week was “The Faces of Homelessness” Donor Breakfast benefiting Cuidando Los Niños. I was anxious to make my guests feel comfortable and welcome, even fielding last minute invites form guests. I planned their seating arrangements and spent a few sleepless nights anxiously awaiting the breakfast event. Waking up early the morning of the event, I was ready and out the door eager to make sure everything was perfect. Fear of course stood next to me, waiting for me to get anxious and slip in with waited opportunity. I arrived, got the best gift ever (my name tag!) and found out that my planning was slightly lost as my seating arrangements were not perfect. I had a moment of impatient frustration: why not how I planned it? It took me only a moment to see that others had worked so hard, my need to perfection was seriously silly. I kicked fear in the shin and as it walked away from me I figured out that no matter what happened that morning, everything would work out.

The breakfast was wonderful, we had a articulate speaker Diana Sauceda and she kicked off our morning with style and grace. We heard life stories from two of our mothers, and an amazing video presentation about our children and families who work towards changing their homeless experience. My mom came and was able to see the organization I donate so much of my time for.  My friends all came to support Cuidando and that made me feel so proud of them. I didn’t see fear at the breakfast table; he must have decided to walk away.

I still have too many things on my plate. I do fear not getting everything accomplished: school work and case studies, clinical hours, and a very important Youth Creating Change Film Festival June 25^th, and of course some family events. I heard fear ringing my doorstep just now, ready to come hang out again, but I think I will use this time wisely and catch up on some projects to that I can hang out with my new friend: Wisdom 

Remember we are all more than JUST a nurse.

My birthday gift

Getting older actually does get easier. I honestly can say this year feels fabulous. I have celebrated all week, but last night I had a low key evening with a small group of friends. Everyone gave me amazing gifts. Mia drew me a picture (she's a talented pre-kindergarten gal) and then there is the wine, gift cards, and my favorite just spending time with amazing women who inspire me. Oh those beautiful qualities my friend (of over 23 years now OMG!) made a frame and a type of letter/reflection if you will. I can't stop thinking about it. I re-typed it so everyone can read it. Amazing Kellie. I love being a nurse, and I love that so many of us, help so many people everyday!

"My Angels on earth…

When my great grandmother was ailing and suffering from dementia and Alzheimer’s, it was a nurse who would come to the house and care for her, making her last few months on earth comfortable.

When my little sister was born with Down syndrome, it was a nurse who comforted my family after they rushed our new baby to the NICU.

When my brother was in the hospital after a tragic event, it was a nurse who reassured my family that he was going to recover.

When I was in the hospital having my own babies, it was a nurse who held my hand, reminded me to breath and helped me deal with the aftermath of a C-section. It was a nurse who wiped my post-partum tears and told me it was normal to feel anxiety. I felt so comforted and never alone.

When I was worried about my son’s pneumonia, it was a nurse who gave me piece of mind and told me everything was going to be alright.

When I visit many families through my charity work, its nurses who give the kids and families the hope, strength, and motivation to overcome obstacles.

I think God put angles on earth to take care of all of us throughout different times in our lives. These angels are called nurses, Throughout my life I have been touched by nurses and I am so blessed and proud to have a friend who is one.

Love, your friend,

Kellie"

Kellie is an amazing woman who inspires me daily. Truly a great moment in my life. Thank you!

Emerging from the white coat

This semester is coming to an end. Today is my final day at women’s health clinic. I have to say I entered in to this semester with some trepidation. Evaluating my own health I would give myself a B+ on the good ‘ole score card, but does that give me the right to advise other women on her health?  Headed into a patients exam rooms I hesitantly started each day the same: notebook (check), white coat (check), pen (check), ROS card and screening sheet (double check) and off I went.

My preceptor, being the beautiful soul she is, set aside one hour per patient. This in itself is wonderful fore thought on her part. Even thinking about it now I have to laugh, the first 25 minutes I would ask every single past medical history, family medical history and review of systems question under the sun. Then came an intently focused physical exam, final “assessment” and detailed plan of care. 

For each patient I was concerned about the same aspects: LMP, last pap, partners, safe relationships, type of birth control, satisfaction with birth control, vitamins/ exercise, diet, last pap, etc. I perfected answering my patient’s questions in a manor that made them feel normal. However, none of us are “normal” and who even had the audacity to event such a word should probably consult with their own “specialist”.

Somewhere in the middle of my rotation I lost my precious white coat. It served as my shield and protection against unknown answers to all my patients’ questions. To say they varied across many spectrums would be an understatement and at times I wondered how I had the tenacity and tact to answer them. However, I did believe they were due the respect and courage to ask any question they wanted.

As the white coat became part of my history, so did the need to wear it. When the lab coat went away, so did my imaginary barrier between my patients and I.  I took on a feeling of being more “humanistic”, in deed more myself. I want to be Michelle the FNP student that cares. I want them to feel comfortable calling me for test results or for advice. Their appointment should make them feel relived and informed. I can’t tell them everything about being healthy, nor are there such things as the magical “normal” in the realm of women’s health. However, at least now they know to check their Vitamin D, take a daily mutli-vitamin, exercise at least three days a week for thirty min, and that open conversations about their health are all important aspects of their care.

In the end this rotation has thought me many important lessons; some learned by chance, others on a daily basis. I couldn’t have asked for a better learning environment. I have two hopes: 1. that I can cultivate a caring environment for my patients in the future, 2. that my next preceptors and staff are just as amazing at my next clinical rotation.

Who raises a child?

     It’s late at night and my day is winding down. The funny thing is; my heart and my mind are all wound up. My never ending whirl wind of school, work and family/friend commitments couldn’t be piled any higher. However, today was the accumulation of a six month process to become a board member for Cuidando Los Niños (a.k.a. CLN). 

  

It should be explained that this board has some requirements. Attendance at events, participation in committees, volunteer time at the center, involvement in advocacy and outreach as well as a back ground check. There are other points too, but by no means can you show up and expect to be appointed membership. 

When presented the opportunity, I made the time. Moved my working days to weekends, started putting feelers out into the community, donated my time, submitted my back ground check, and during the process become even more excited to join this community. I say community because that is what this is. It is a community of people dedicated to helping children who are experiencing homelessness. CLN helps them meet their developmental milestones so that they can continue to grow, develop and become contributing members of society. Studies have shown that without this, the cycle of homelessness will continue. But CLN doesn’t stop there. They take the whole family and build a plan end the homeless cycle through partnerships within the community.

It makes my heart sing to be involved in something that is bigger than me.  I think that is what deep down my heart wants: contribution to others in a meaningful way.  So as I sit here and ponder tonight I wonder…

Who raises a child?

 Is the role limited to a mother, a father, a grandparent or aunt? What about the sister who raises her siblings or the son who steps forward in the role as provider. There is no one entity that raises a child.  When you think of raising a child as a single individual’s role you fail to see the influences that act upon that child and that family unit.  

Take for instance the school. The school has the principle that provides leadership and fosters diversity which is passed to the teachers. Teachers provide education, nurture, and fosters growth within children often inspiring and encouraging them to grow into their community.

 The school is one part of the community but there are also businesses and other community centers at which children frequent. Imagine the possibilities of influence. For instance camp counselors who inspire imagination and exploration or the business owner who donates his time as a part time league coach. It is the scientist who donates her  time tutoring, or even the  church group who through fund-raising helps to provide shelter, food and clothing to families in need.

Each single individual who enters a community has the ability to influence and sponsor growth within that community.  The ability to donate is not defined by the wallet from which checks can be written. It is defined by the quality of time and mentor ship that is put in to the development of the community that in turn fosters true financial growth and lasting development.

Our communities are not defined by white picket fences or cars polished to pristine shine on the weekends.  Our communities are what we build, through the relationships we develop and the growth we provide.   We all have communities, can you find yours?

Being honored with a position on the board is the green flag to forge ahead in a new civic role full of responsibility, challenges and opportunities. It is by no means a finish line of accomplishment but rather a spark that ignites the personal drive to do more, and be more.  I am more than just a role. I am a role model, a worker and a leader within the community. And at the end of the day, it is the community that raised the family. 

"Yes" moments

Sometimes a long day opens up the mind for contemplation.  I am officially knee deep in my second half of my woman’s health clinical rotation.  I never thought I would enjoy woman’s health, but at times I do. Take this week for example I had the opportunity to call a patient regarding her labs and let her know that her results where normal. I re-enforced the need to eat a well balanced diet and to exercise (something everyone should do) and during the call you could hear the relief in the woman’s voice.  That is when you have that “yes” moment. Helping, giving reassurance, educating and being “there” for your patients, that is what is important. 

In addition to school and working I had the opportunity to attend United Way of NM’s Breakfast event.  Another "yes" moment given to me by my friend Maren. She invited me to the event, and although I thought I was going to hang out and eat breakfast with her, I did enjoy meeting a wealth of individuals in the non-profit community.  You never know who you are going to meet.  It was a great morning, and taught me a lot.  The event ended with a wonderful opportunity and a brief chat with Mayor Berry. 

Now, you may ask why I care to meet Mayor Richard J. Berry?  Well, you see the mayor has an initiative to end homelessness. As some people know I volunteer (and hopefully soon serve on the board) for a non-profit that works towards helping children who are experiencing homelessness. I had to do a quick meet and greet with the Mayor to remind him of the wonderful organization I serve.  Hopefully we can partner to expand and help even more people. But it should be said, in my opinion in order to help someone you should give them the tools for success trough education or opportunities. But what they do with those skills is their own choice. I akin it to the Chinese proverb “Give a man a fish and you feed him for a day. Teach a man to fish and you feed him for a lifetime”.   

So just a small blog today, but long thoughts surround my synapses. I will write more soon…and remember my peers and I are more than JUST any one dimension, one job, or one definition. We ARE nurses.

And now to listen to my new favorite: