Sometimes life is
about reflection, and that reflection helps us grow.
The other day
someone asked a question that has been asked of me several times over the past
few months. The question goes something like,
“Aren’t
you excited? You’re getting married!”
The expected
response is some elated giggle to cross my lips and for glee to spew forth. But
the truth is I’m not excited; I’m happy.
I’m happy, and for
my friends, I think they understand. Marrying Mountain Man isn’t about the
excitement of one day that is the synthesis of 8 months of planning. Don't get
me wrong, I am looking forward to my wedding day, but more importantly, I am
looking forward to spending time with friends and family while standing next to
a man who makes me genuinely happy deep into my soul.
Happiness: it is
something that many have all the time. In fact, the feeling is never lost on
them. And while I have been happy at various times in my life mostly I have
been wandering from country to country, moment to moment, from deployment to
deployment, career to career. Sometimes searching, sometimes not, sometimes
pondering, and at other times lost. All the while knowing, that I have met
great people who have been in my life, their touch molding me and setting me on
my path to continue wandering, happiness wasn't always in the mix.
I'm now happy on a
level I never thought I would experience. Mountain man doesn’t “make me” happy.
I have had to find my own inner happiness. However, being with him is that
other piece, that last stretch that pushes you to the top of the hill you have
worked hard to climb. He is simply him, but to me he is amazing. I never knew
you could love someone so simply yet so strongly. And yet, here I am in love
and happy. I am deeply, passionately, patiently, fervently, sweetly and
un-regrettably happy.
I don’t think I can
stop wandering, even though I have set some roots back down in the Land of
Enchantment. And those years leading up to this moment in time have taught me
that all who wander are not lost after all. So for now, I will continue
wandering. Yet this time, I will wander hand in hand with Mountain Man.
